If I may, a moment of vulnerability… September 9, 2009

…I’ve had reservations about moving to LA.

But I’m trying.

I’ve been here a couple of weeks now, and finding work is tough.  I hate sitting around at home ALL day doing NOTHING.  I can’t handle it.

Marcelo has a ton of friends here, a ton.  He is set with a car, and he doesn’t necessarily have to get a job ASAP to pay his bills.

I’m feeling a lot of pressure as far as my finances go.  I have to buy a car, which I have $3000 saved away for…  However, I have to pay rent at the end of the month, and since I don’t have a job, $800 of my car money is going to go to that.

Not only that, but I feel so fucking lonely here.  I’ve been trying to keep myself entertained, going to the beach, going roller skating…  But I’m usually by myself, and even if I’m with Marcelo, there are usually at least one or two of his friends there, and you boys know you just aren’t the same when you are around your guy friends.  You always have to impress each other.  BORING.

Marcelo tells me today how much he misses his friends in Brazil…  Well, I miss friends period.  I’ve got nothing and no one down here!  I can’t help but feel like he is a little greedy to complain about missing friends when he has about 10 best friends in the city, as well as family!!!  :’(

It’s a shame because, believe it or not, I really love the city, and I really love the house we’re living in.  I guess I probably just have to deal with only a couple more weeks of isolation, then maybe I’ll get a job.  HOPEFULLY I’ll have a job by then.

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